Thursday, June 15, 2006
"Your body needs to be held and to hold, to be touched and to touch. None of these needs is to be despised, denied, or repressed. But you have to keep searching for your body's deeper need, the need for genuine love. Every time you are able to go beyond the body's superficial desires for love, you are bringing your body home and moving toward integration and unity."
-Henri Houwen -
According to Henri Houwen, true and holistic love is more than a physical outward expression of ones' actions or words. As cretinous and imbecilic as we humans are, we are often deluded into thinking that we have found true love when what we are experiencing is merely acceptance by someone. We are all superficial creatures that dwell within our own comfort zones. We fear rejection, hate and oppression. We choose to love only those who reside within that self-erected safety parameter of ours simply because we have been brought up in a society that overly emphasizes on an easy life. We love for the prestige of it and not for the purpose of discovering the holistic nature of oneself and him or her partner.
Love has always been described to be something so marvellous and incomprehensible. Mary Parrish describes love as one that "vanquishes time" and that "[to] lovers, a moment can be eternity, eternity can be the tick of a clock." Love seems have the ability to purge men from Mother Nature's forces of time and space. It seems to overcome all obstacles and it is perfect.
Utter bosh.
"If love is the answer [to any question]. Could you rephrase the question?"
- Lily Tomlin -
There is no such thing as love conquers all or any other of those fancy fairy tale like descriptions of love. Bosh! Love is more than something that we express or feel. Loving someone is not about reassuring yourself that you are accepted. The process of loving is crucial towards the holistic development of any human. Look at Jesus for example. Did God just send His only Son to die on the cross for our sins or did He let His Son walk on earth for more than 30 years before allowing Him to be sent to the cross? Jesus' love for humanity had to be developed and at the same time, He found out more about Himself and nurtured His love for His Father. Likewise, when we love, it is never about acceptance or any of those dramatic joys that we may experience instead, it is about the challenge.
"Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important."
- Lisa Hoffman -
As much as I hate Mathematics, Lisa Hoffman's comparison of love to pi is something that I would buy. It is a natural challenge that may seem irrational to take on yet, it is very important to our holistic development of humanity.
"Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are."
- Houssaye -
Loving helps us to discover ourselves. At times, love hurts. Jesus suffered because of His love for us right? Likewise, we have to brace these challenges in order to discover who we really are.
On a more personal note now, I loved once but was deeply hurt when I had to give up that love for something called religion. I was scarred and afraid to ever pick myself up again to love. I found out through that past relationship that loving someone is not easy. It is a real challenge. A challenge that I would naturally fear to ever undertake again...
The end of the relationship left a deep scar on me. It happened and it will always reside within my memory. As Tony Morrison would term it as in Beloved, at times "rememory" hurts. However, looking back now, I realize that although it is extremely painful to reflect upon what happened, it is essential to do so. I did learn a lot from the relationship and it has contributed significantly to my personal development as a person. I genuinely hope that it has helped her too. But anyway, it is over so it remains as a memory.
I guess I am recovering. I am very lucky in the sense that God has continuously showered His blessings upon me. His grace, mercy and love is something that I will never be able to comprehend as of yet but it is definitely something I will treasure and appreciate. I really do love God. My first love. =)
With His help, I am picking myself up again, daring to love again. But this time, I am going to trust Him and commit the relationship to Him. Holistic development is not about myself but about the people around me. I will face criticism and negative comments from others and naturally, I will be put down at times. Depressed, upset or whatever you wish to term it; they are all inevitable. No relationship will last without God. He has to honor it. And thus, I am committing this to Him. I shall love once again but this time, with His approval and help. And as much as the relationship shall be for our holistic development, it is also about servanthood to the Father. God.
The Spanish Proverb says that "where there is love, there is pain." I cannot agree more. It will be painful at times but I believe with each other and God, it will last.
I will love once again. But this time, for God, her and myself.
"Where there is love, there is life"
- Mohandas K. Gandhi -
Well, I hope that through this love, we will be bringing people to the life that God has designated for mankind. Hahax. Love. As much as it hurts at times, it remains an extremely interesting thing that I choose to love and find out more about... of course, I will be doing it with God's help this time... and hers too. =) Love. Hahax.
