Sunday, June 18, 2006
2a.m. in the morning and I'm still wide awake. Just finished reading through my Integration notes for Mathematics. Productive study session I would say. But well, I'm starting to question myself again on why I'm doing what I'm doing.
Talked to Daniel just now. Managed to convince him to go out with me for lunch. Thank God for that. The cell has been trying to get him back for quite sometime but I have to admit that I haven't been putting in effort. I was a bad cell leader then. But yea, the idea of servanthood has recently resurfaced and I'm back to track now.
Life's purpose is something that until this day, I still question. I know that the Lord has blessed me with many gifts and talents and I have been abusing most of them for personal use most of the times. Be it music, speech or studies, I know that I have been extremely blessed but still, I am not using and developing these areas for Him. Why? Well, I guess I'm just too proud and selfish.
This has to change.
Servanthood is something that I was taught as a cell leader. I've been emphasizing it to my cell but sadly, not adhering to it myself. Haix. It's time I woke up and humble myself down...
Really, without God, I'd have nothing.
A life of servanthood is what I wish to lead from today onwards but well, I know I can't do it alone. In the bible, Jesus sent His disciples out in pairs so that they can keep each other in check and confirm the Lord's word with each other. Hmmmx.. I hope she can help me in this area and work with me for the Lord.
Let Your will be done Father. This life, my life, is Yours to control and use. I'm sick of relying on myself. I want You and I need You.
Purpose... life's purpose is just to serve the Lord. It's that simple for me. I know I can't do it alone and I guess that's why the Lord has sent her to help me. Thank God la.
Servanthood - that's my purpose in life I guess... just to serve Him. Everything I do, it'll be for Him... that's what I really hope to achieve. My purpose is Him.
Amen.
