Saturday, August 12, 2006
Docotr says I'm overly stressed and should not study too hard. Blahx.
I've decided that I shall revert back to my Secondary 4 dark days le. And with that, I'd be leaving by the statement, "there is no such thing as over-studying since you've not studied at all for the whole year." I wonder how long I'd be able to hold out. I only managed 1mth in sec 4 and it was already horrible. Argh. Ok... this is the A'levels, who am I kidding. 1mth of hardcore revision won't get me anywhere. Well, I don't really care whether I can take it - it's back to the dark days of mugging. For 3 whole months or well, at least until I burn out and sink into study depression.
I'll be a walking zombie. I'm definately gonna lose weight again but screw it la. I'm 48kg anyway - I've got an 8kg buffer that will prbably take eh, 3mths to burn off so yea, can afford lo.
Haix. I told myself that I'd never venture into these dark realms again but in desperate measures, screw it la ok? I've gotta do what I've gotta do? Cliche? Hahax. Whatever.
"The old has gone and the new has come." Biblical quote but let's inverse it a little now k? The old me is gonna surface. I function best under heavy stress but that means giving up a lot of my interpersonal relationships and eh, my endurance levels also. Stress breaks me but at the same time, makes me. Quoting Cheng, "what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger." Well, Carpe Diem and let's get the show on the road.
So, the temperamental and insensitive Kai's gonna come back. I'm pretty sure of it. I loved being alone is sec 4... I guess I'd enjoy that solitude once again. I know I can't do it alone but well, let's see how much can I take. If this breaks me, there's no point leaving. As Cheng said again, "this is nothing compared to the working world." I guess he's right. Things are much less complicated here in JC and well, we're sheltered and overly fortunate la.
Oh well... I'll see how I'd fair. Hopefully, God will be there for me to run to when I need Him. Haix. I'll definately need Him. I love You Father. Haix.
**God, please see me through this will You? I need You now more than ever before. Only You Father.. only You...**
